Reflection of Essay and Writing Growth
I will make sure that I am using proper language and am avoiding the use of informal language in my writing. In my seminar reflection for the “Habits of Highly Cynical People” seminar I wrote, “Rebecca Solnit writes about how nonchalantly we all disregard how often we are screwed over because we all believe that none of us have the power to make a change...” Lori commented on my use of the phrase, screwed over, and how it is informal among the rest of my paper. Looking back on it now I realize that I am prone to writing exactly what I am feeling in the moment and not taking a moment to see how that impacts my writing. Reading it now I can see how it actually takes away from my powerful sentence and does make it unprofessional. I would love to work on this and construct stronger sentences that will then create stronger paragraphs.
I will make sure that I am using proper grammar and am using semicolons and colons in the correct places. In my seminar reflection I was unable to use the correct punctuation when I was switching from the beginning of my sentence into my quote. I used a semicolon instead of a colon for this transition. I most likely have been doing this wrong my entire highschool career and never noticed that there was a difference. Before realizing this I never knew that you should always use a colon when putting a quote after a sentence. I also now know that I should be using a semicolon when I wish to have more separation between thoughts and when I am writing lists. I never thought to just look up when to use each of these types of punctuation, but now that I know I can be more confident with my writing.
I will make sure that I am watching the length of my sentences to ensure that I am not rambling on and creating run on sentences that take away the power of my writing. In my first draft of my college essay I had many times where I had written very long confusing sentences: “Without the rugged winds that flipped the pages of my journal and turned my head to admire the untouched land I had somehow conquered in 3 days, I would never have come to understand the importance of listening to others and that giving yourself a moment to trust in your own abilities opens up an entire world of possibilities.” This one sentence has some of the most important things in my essay in it and the sentence easily gets mixed up in your mind when you read it. I realized that I need to work on being more concise so that my points are more clear. I changed my long sentence and rewrote, “Without the rugged winds that flipped the pages of my journal and lifted my head to admire the untouched land I had conquered, I would never have come to understand the importance of listening to others and trusting in my own abilities.” Though this is not much more shorter it is easier to follow and is very helpful in me understanding that my super long sentences filled with lots of information is not the best solution to getting my point across.
Writing my college essay was not only the most terrifying and life awakening event, but it also helped me realize how much I have grown as a writer over the past 3 years and how much I am still growing. My writing went from being over detailed and difficult to read to being clear, to the point, and stronger. In my first draft I wrote:
In the spring of 2015, Rachel Landis, the environmental studies director at Fort Lewis
College, and Ashley Carruth, a mountain biking coach and teacher for Animas High
School, had an idea for a program that would help establish confidence and community
in young woman. By June of 2015, fifteen young high school women had signed up for
their program with the slightest idea of how this was any different than any other
women's program. Our first adventure as a group would take all 15 of us up into the
Weminuche Wilderness where we would spend 7 days backpacking away from
Civilization.
This section of my paragraph was unnecessary in conveying how I have grown as a woman through my outdoor leadership experiences. In my essay I had a lot of repetition and lengthy sentences that took away from the purpose of my essay. Rereading over my writing I was able to make it more simple and slim it down:
In the spring of 2015, Rachel Landis and Ashley Carruth had an idea for a program that
would help establish confidence and community in young women. By June of 2015,
fifteen young high school women had signed up for their program and the first
backpacking trip with the slightest idea of how much our lives were about to change.
My writing has been influenced not only by my peers, but by the push and knowledge that this isn’t just an essay that my high school teachers will be reading and grading, that it is in 637 word essay that may determine my future. They are only going to take a moment to read and try and get to know me and this is my golden ticket. I have learned that things don’t have to be super complicated to get my point across and can actually be more powerful.
I will make sure that I am using proper grammar and am using semicolons and colons in the correct places. In my seminar reflection I was unable to use the correct punctuation when I was switching from the beginning of my sentence into my quote. I used a semicolon instead of a colon for this transition. I most likely have been doing this wrong my entire highschool career and never noticed that there was a difference. Before realizing this I never knew that you should always use a colon when putting a quote after a sentence. I also now know that I should be using a semicolon when I wish to have more separation between thoughts and when I am writing lists. I never thought to just look up when to use each of these types of punctuation, but now that I know I can be more confident with my writing.
I will make sure that I am watching the length of my sentences to ensure that I am not rambling on and creating run on sentences that take away the power of my writing. In my first draft of my college essay I had many times where I had written very long confusing sentences: “Without the rugged winds that flipped the pages of my journal and turned my head to admire the untouched land I had somehow conquered in 3 days, I would never have come to understand the importance of listening to others and that giving yourself a moment to trust in your own abilities opens up an entire world of possibilities.” This one sentence has some of the most important things in my essay in it and the sentence easily gets mixed up in your mind when you read it. I realized that I need to work on being more concise so that my points are more clear. I changed my long sentence and rewrote, “Without the rugged winds that flipped the pages of my journal and lifted my head to admire the untouched land I had conquered, I would never have come to understand the importance of listening to others and trusting in my own abilities.” Though this is not much more shorter it is easier to follow and is very helpful in me understanding that my super long sentences filled with lots of information is not the best solution to getting my point across.
Writing my college essay was not only the most terrifying and life awakening event, but it also helped me realize how much I have grown as a writer over the past 3 years and how much I am still growing. My writing went from being over detailed and difficult to read to being clear, to the point, and stronger. In my first draft I wrote:
In the spring of 2015, Rachel Landis, the environmental studies director at Fort Lewis
College, and Ashley Carruth, a mountain biking coach and teacher for Animas High
School, had an idea for a program that would help establish confidence and community
in young woman. By June of 2015, fifteen young high school women had signed up for
their program with the slightest idea of how this was any different than any other
women's program. Our first adventure as a group would take all 15 of us up into the
Weminuche Wilderness where we would spend 7 days backpacking away from
Civilization.
This section of my paragraph was unnecessary in conveying how I have grown as a woman through my outdoor leadership experiences. In my essay I had a lot of repetition and lengthy sentences that took away from the purpose of my essay. Rereading over my writing I was able to make it more simple and slim it down:
In the spring of 2015, Rachel Landis and Ashley Carruth had an idea for a program that
would help establish confidence and community in young women. By June of 2015,
fifteen young high school women had signed up for their program and the first
backpacking trip with the slightest idea of how much our lives were about to change.
My writing has been influenced not only by my peers, but by the push and knowledge that this isn’t just an essay that my high school teachers will be reading and grading, that it is in 637 word essay that may determine my future. They are only going to take a moment to read and try and get to know me and this is my golden ticket. I have learned that things don’t have to be super complicated to get my point across and can actually be more powerful.